i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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