why didn't you poke me back
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
