Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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