i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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