Your face is a jimmy john
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
