I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
