That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
