so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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