Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
