Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
