I want to make a zoo with you.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
