Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
