omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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