The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
