just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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