On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
