yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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