One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
