life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
4 words: hood of his car
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
