dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
