both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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