we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We got so high we made milksteak
worst night to have a conscience
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
