I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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