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• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.

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• (831): View more from California

  Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.

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