And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
