How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize