In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
