Quick, to the slutcave!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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