I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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