i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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