I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
