my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
