I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
