I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How naked do you want me to be?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
