my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
