I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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