Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
