I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sext me about skeletons
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
