they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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