I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize