he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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