the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
