Me too!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
