Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
A+ Viking dick
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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