My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
