make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
