I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
