she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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