Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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