where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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