yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
