So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
