i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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