That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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