have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
