Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
