If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
