He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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