We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
