Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
