I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
thus making me awesome and them whores
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
