It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
