just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
