Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
