How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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