i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
