We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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