when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
