he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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