you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
