I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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